Today’s candidate – Those people who get super high, with a vocabulary that is way off and then confidently say "Bro, I'm not drunk. I don't get drunk. I don't know why". And has a drunk ass friend backing him up for it. hmph!

Dude, I was there. I saw you trip on nothing. TWICE.

*Slap*

Today’s candidate – To all those people who come upto you and say "Do you remember me?? Do you remember me?? You were a baby when I saw you."

Dude!! I don't remember what I had for breakfast yesterday. WTF!!

*Slap*

Today’s candidate – The guy who approved "Dil Jumping Japang Jampak Jampak..Dhaming Dhapang Dhampak Dhampak." to be aired on national television.

*SLAP*

Today’s candidate – Those who find a "sweet spot" on the road to stop and cause the traffic jam of the century just to attend to a stupid phone call.

Yes! They're stupid.

Go Ahead *Slap*

Today’s candidate – Girl in the conversation below. (Heard it over the radio this morning)

Boy : Who the leader of the bad guys in Transformers ?

Girl : Iron Man.

Wait for it..... *Slap*

Today’s candidate – Those who vouch for Sanjay Dutt’s “innocence” and say, “he had no connection with what happened" and all that CRAP! Guess if you have a few movies that are peaceful, you are a peaceful person.

No wonder you voted for who you did. And are now unhappy with.

*Slap*

Today’s candidate – Those relatives who see you after a really long time and say "Oh my God!! Look at you. You've grown so much".

Really? Like that was not gonna happen.

*Slap*

Today’s candidate – Those who come upto you when you've decide to go for a movie that you've waited for a century to see....

And tell you how it ends. (Screw Anger Management 101)

*Slap*

Today’s candidate – Those who come right next to you when you’re sleeping like a LOG and make enough noise to wake you up. And then go on to say “Are you asleep?”

?!?!?! Guess you saw me sleeping with my eyes WIDE OPEN. It’s totally cool!! …. NOT!!!

*Slap*

Today’s candidate – Those who want to prove that something they know is the absolute truth and go on to say.. "I'm 101% sure/ I'm 200% sure" or whatever number 100% just to put across a point.

Next time you hear anybody say it...

*Slap*

Today’s candidate – The owners of the 5 Billion online cake shops who give so much importance to how good the cake looks (for their page) instead of how it actually tastes. Not to forget, the disclaimer which says “Please remove the sugar coating before you begin... Coz... it kinda tastes like crap!!”

*Slap*

Today's candidates - Human Resource professionals who say "We'll call you back!!" right after a job interview. It's like someone turning you on and you know you're not gonna "get some".

You can just say "F*©$ OFF!!". And spare the anticipation.

*Slap*

Today’s candidate – That one friend in every gang who makes sure he is drinking a fruit punch while the rest are “downing” every type of alcohol known.

“No dude! I’m sure dude! It’s ok dude! Thanks but no thanks dude!!” … WTF!?

*Slap*