Today’s candidate – Those who come up to you and say “Mujhe Kannad nahi aathi!!”

Its not F@C$&^G Kannad you dumbass. IT’S KANNADA !!

*Slap*

Today’s candidate – Those you not only cross the road when there are 5,000 vehicles coming at them but also look the OTHER SIDE while they're at it... On a one-way road !?!?

I don't get it.. WHY??

*Slap*

Today’s candidate – Those who go abroad for a year and come back with an accent that lasts for 17 years. *Takes a deep breath*

*Slap*

Today’s candidate – In true Christmas spirit, those you think it’s Santa Clause’s birthday today and thats why he distributes gifts. *rolls eyes*

Again, in true Christmas spirit.

*Slap*

Today’s candidate – Those who use short forms excessively assuming everyone knows what they’re trying to say. Movies in particular.

When you say “HP”, the only thing that hits my mind is the computer company. NOT THE DAMN SCAR or WAND or SOME NOSELESS TURD.

*Slap*

Today’s candidate – Those who really like to show how sophisticated they are by using words that a normal human being would need a dictionary to understand.

WHY?? We know you have a Doctorate in stupidity.

*Slap*

Today’s candidate – Those who take a century to reply to a message. And when they do, all you see in the screen is “k”.

*Slap

Today’s candidates – Not only those who get back (or alteast try to get back) at their Ex’es through rebuttal status messages with some “inner-INNER” meaning which is only meant for their Ex’es to get but also all those highly experienced individuals who give FREE advice on how much that person deserved more, etc etc and start off a random B!T#Hing thread for everyone to read.

* Slow Slap*

Today’s candidates – All those who have pre-booked tickets for “Twilight- Breaking Dawn 2”.

NEED I SAY MORE ??

*Slap*

Today’s candidates – Those inconsiderate knuckleheads who don’t care about old people crossing the road when they want to light a cracker, those who throw firecrackers on or near passer-by just for “kicks” and FINALLY, those who enjoy using a dog as a part of their jokes while they’re taking cover a mile away from the fire. B@$%^DS !!

*Slap*

Today’s candidate – That friend of yours who makes a plan to meet up at 5 and lands up there at 7:30 while everyone is waiting just to listen to “I thought if I tell 5 means everyone will come around 6:30-7”. WHAT?!?! FOOL!!

*Slap*

Today’s candidates – Those who think the word “Biryani” can be used for Veg food.

You just CANT !! Why ?? Coz “Here, have a plate of Mutton Payasam..” THATS WHY !!

*Slap*

Today’s candidates – Those who always make plans to meet up with the gang. And when they miraculously do, they’re over the phone the whole time. Wtf!!

*Slap*

Today’s candidates – The “Whatever-ppl”. Those who bring down the intellect of a perfectly good argument by saying “Whateverrr!!!” at a point when they CANNOT think of a decent come-back.

NOT COOL.. NOT COOL AT ALL!!

*Slap*

Slappable Tuesdays - A day dedicated to those who I think NEED to be slapped.

Today’s candidate – Parents who complain about their kids being lazy.

Little did they realize that when they were 10 yrs old, they had a tennis ball thrown at their face... NOT AN iPad / PS3 !!!

*Slap* And on account of Gandhi Jayanti *Slaps other cheek*

Today’s candidates – Those who don’t realize that not every Punjabi says “Balle-Balle”, not every Tamilian says “Macha”, not every Mallu speaks bad English and not every Telugite says “Rapu” to be laughed at. Fool!!

*Slap*

Today’s candidate – Guys who think owning an SLR/DSLR camera makes them a professional photographer.

You remember that snap you took using all the gymnastics poses known?? Its BLURRY!

*Slap*

Today’s candidate – Those who make plans to meet up, laugh their asses of, have a blast, AND then look at the bill and say “Go Dutch?? Why? I didn’t have so much!” and go on to pay for the two and a half Pina-Coladas they ordered for.

*Slap*

Today’s candidate – Those who move from one city to another and can't stop complaining about how they were living previously.

Just like guys who get married and complain that they want their mom's food. Idiots!!

*Slap*

Today’s candidate – Those who end up dating their Rakhi “Brothers” and “Sisters”.

Rakhi Sisters – Seriously! How does the word "Bhaiyya" turn you on? HOW? You need therapy; And

Rakhi Brothers – (like a true Delhi Boy) Aye Behan Ch*d!!

*Slap*

Today’s candidate – A Hindi speaking person who thinks everyone he/she speaks to understands what comes out of their mouth. And goes on to say “tum ko hindi nahi aati”

NAHI AATI you F*@King GAVAR

*Slap*

Today’s candidate – Those you put awesome car labels on their not so awesome cars.

Hey Manmohan (fake name), we know the difference between a QUALIS and a QUALIS WITH A PAJERO LABEL. Fool!

*Slap*

Today’s candidate – Raj (real name), who speak so slowly that you forget what the conversation was all about. And after 15mins he says “Ok???”

No Dude!!!

*Slap*

Today’s candidate – Everyone who crosses the road while talking over the phone. Apart from increasing the probability to kill themselves and kill the person riding, they increase the probability of damaging my bike. ARGH!!

*Slap*

Today’s candidate – That friend of yours who says “Congo” when they’re supposed to say “Congrats!”. It sounds soo wrong when someone you says “Congo” to a new parent. Especially when they look at the child. Idiots!

*Slap*

Today's candidates - Girls who call other girls "dude". That is soo spectacularly lame. Would you accept it if your guy says "what's up babe?" to another guy? EXACTLY!!

*Slap*

Today’s candidate – 24 yr old samosa look alike enters the gym for the first time and asks the gym instructor “How long will it take for me to become like Salman Khan?”

*Slap*