Today’s candidate – Snitches .a.k.a. Those who sneak out private information especially when they were trusted with it.

Really?!! How old are you? 3?

*Slap*

Today’s candidate – Snitches .a.k.a. Those who sneak out private information especially when they were trusted with it.

Really?!! How old are you? 3?

*Slap*

Today’s candidate – Snitches .a.k.a. Those who sneak out private information especially when they were trusted with it.

Really?!! How old are you? 3?

*Slap*

Today’s candidate – Those super brilliant professionals who say "I have five point ten (5.10) years of work experience."

5 yrs and 10 months Dumb-ass!!

*Slap*

Today’s candidate – Those who put up a snap of themselves with a caption saying "Me".

We know ra!!

*Slap*

Today’s candidate – Those people who get super high, with a vocabulary that is way off and then confidently say "Bro, I'm not drunk. I don't get drunk. I don't know why". And has a drunk ass friend backing him up for it. hmph!

Dude, I was there. I saw you trip on nothing. TWICE.

*Slap*

Today’s candidate – To all those people who come upto you and say "Do you remember me?? Do you remember me?? You were a baby when I saw you."

Dude!! I don't remember what I had for breakfast yesterday. WTF!!

*Slap*

Today’s candidate – The guy who approved "Dil Jumping Japang Jampak Jampak..Dhaming Dhapang Dhampak Dhampak." to be aired on national television.

*SLAP*

Today’s candidate – Those who find a "sweet spot" on the road to stop and cause the traffic jam of the century just to attend to a stupid phone call.

Yes! They're stupid.

Go Ahead *Slap*

Today’s candidate – Girl in the conversation below. (Heard it over the radio this morning)

Boy : Who the leader of the bad guys in Transformers ?

Girl : Iron Man.

Wait for it..... *Slap*

Today’s candidate – Those who vouch for Sanjay Dutt’s “innocence” and say, “he had no connection with what happened" and all that CRAP! Guess if you have a few movies that are peaceful, you are a peaceful person.

No wonder you voted for who you did. And are now unhappy with.

*Slap*

Today’s candidate – Those relatives who see you after a really long time and say "Oh my God!! Look at you. You've grown so much".

Really? Like that was not gonna happen.

*Slap*

Today’s candidate – Those who come upto you when you've decide to go for a movie that you've waited for a century to see....

And tell you how it ends. (Screw Anger Management 101)

*Slap*

Today’s candidate – Those who come right next to you when you’re sleeping like a LOG and make enough noise to wake you up. And then go on to say “Are you asleep?”

?!?!?! Guess you saw me sleeping with my eyes WIDE OPEN. It’s totally cool!! …. NOT!!!

*Slap*

Today’s candidate – Those who want to prove that something they know is the absolute truth and go on to say.. "I'm 101% sure/ I'm 200% sure" or whatever number 100% just to put across a point.

Next time you hear anybody say it...

*Slap*

Today’s candidate – The owners of the 5 Billion online cake shops who give so much importance to how good the cake looks (for their page) instead of how it actually tastes. Not to forget, the disclaimer which says “Please remove the sugar coating before you begin... Coz... it kinda tastes like crap!!”

*Slap*

Today's candidates - Human Resource professionals who say "We'll call you back!!" right after a job interview. It's like someone turning you on and you know you're not gonna "get some".

You can just say "F*©$ OFF!!". And spare the anticipation.

*Slap*

Today’s candidate – That one friend in every gang who makes sure he is drinking a fruit punch while the rest are “downing” every type of alcohol known.

“No dude! I’m sure dude! It’s ok dude! Thanks but no thanks dude!!” … WTF!?

*Slap*

Today’s candidate – Those who hook up EXACTLY on Valentine’s Day. Especially when they’ve whined in the past about how lame Valentine’s Day is how everyday is Valentine’s Day and all that Bull-crap!!

Dude!! Just accept it. You like Justin Beiber. PERIOD (Pun Intended).

*Slap*

Today’s candidate – Those who are absolutely aware that they're in a really quiet place and then go on SCREAM in top of their voice when they answer a phone call.

Why? Why even use the phone? The other person can listen to you even WITHOUT it.

*Slap*

Today’s candidate – Those who come up to you and say “Mujhe Kannad nahi aathi!!”

Its not F@C$&^G Kannad you dumbass. IT’S KANNADA !!

*Slap*

Today’s candidate – Those you not only cross the road when there are 5,000 vehicles coming at them but also look the OTHER SIDE while they're at it... On a one-way road !?!?

I don't get it.. WHY??

*Slap*

Today’s candidate – Those who go abroad for a year and come back with an accent that lasts for 17 years. *Takes a deep breath*

*Slap*

Today’s candidate – In true Christmas spirit, those you think it’s Santa Clause’s birthday today and thats why he distributes gifts. *rolls eyes*

Again, in true Christmas spirit.

*Slap*

Today’s candidate – Those who use short forms excessively assuming everyone knows what they’re trying to say. Movies in particular.

When you say “HP”, the only thing that hits my mind is the computer company. NOT THE DAMN SCAR or WAND or SOME NOSELESS TURD.

*Slap*

Today’s candidate – Those who really like to show how sophisticated they are by using words that a normal human being would need a dictionary to understand.

WHY?? We know you have a Doctorate in stupidity.

*Slap*

Today’s candidate – Those who take a century to reply to a message. And when they do, all you see in the screen is “k”.

*Slap

Today’s candidates – Not only those who get back (or alteast try to get back) at their Ex’es through rebuttal status messages with some “inner-INNER” meaning which is only meant for their Ex’es to get but also all those highly experienced individuals who give FREE advice on how much that person deserved more, etc etc and start off a random B!T#Hing thread for everyone to read.

* Slow Slap*

Today’s candidates – All those who have pre-booked tickets for “Twilight- Breaking Dawn 2”.

NEED I SAY MORE ??

*Slap*

Today’s candidates – Those inconsiderate knuckleheads who don’t care about old people crossing the road when they want to light a cracker, those who throw firecrackers on or near passer-by just for “kicks” and FINALLY, those who enjoy using a dog as a part of their jokes while they’re taking cover a mile away from the fire. B@$%^DS !!

*Slap*

Today’s candidate – That friend of yours who makes a plan to meet up at 5 and lands up there at 7:30 while everyone is waiting just to listen to “I thought if I tell 5 means everyone will come around 6:30-7”. WHAT?!?! FOOL!!

*Slap*

Today’s candidates – Those who think the word “Biryani” can be used for Veg food.

You just CANT !! Why ?? Coz “Here, have a plate of Mutton Payasam..” THATS WHY !!

*Slap*

Today’s candidates – Those who always make plans to meet up with the gang. And when they miraculously do, they’re over the phone the whole time. Wtf!!

*Slap*

Today’s candidates – The “Whatever-ppl”. Those who bring down the intellect of a perfectly good argument by saying “Whateverrr!!!” at a point when they CANNOT think of a decent come-back.

NOT COOL.. NOT COOL AT ALL!!

*Slap*

Slappable Tuesdays - A day dedicated to those who I think NEED to be slapped.

Today’s candidate – Parents who complain about their kids being lazy.

Little did they realize that when they were 10 yrs old, they had a tennis ball thrown at their face... NOT AN iPad / PS3 !!!

*Slap* And on account of Gandhi Jayanti *Slaps other cheek*

Today’s candidates – Those who don’t realize that not every Punjabi says “Balle-Balle”, not every Tamilian says “Macha”, not every Mallu speaks bad English and not every Telugite says “Rapu” to be laughed at. Fool!!

*Slap*

Today’s candidate – Guys who think owning an SLR/DSLR camera makes them a professional photographer.

You remember that snap you took using all the gymnastics poses known?? Its BLURRY!

*Slap*

Today’s candidate – Those who make plans to meet up, laugh their asses of, have a blast, AND then look at the bill and say “Go Dutch?? Why? I didn’t have so much!” and go on to pay for the two and a half Pina-Coladas they ordered for.

*Slap*

Today’s candidate – Those who move from one city to another and can't stop complaining about how they were living previously.

Just like guys who get married and complain that they want their mom's food. Idiots!!

*Slap*

Today’s candidate – Those who end up dating their Rakhi “Brothers” and “Sisters”.

Rakhi Sisters – Seriously! How does the word "Bhaiyya" turn you on? HOW? You need therapy; And

Rakhi Brothers – (like a true Delhi Boy) Aye Behan Ch*d!!

*Slap*

Today’s candidate – A Hindi speaking person who thinks everyone he/she speaks to understands what comes out of their mouth. And goes on to say “tum ko hindi nahi aati”

NAHI AATI you F*@King GAVAR

*Slap*

Today’s candidate – Those you put awesome car labels on their not so awesome cars.

Hey Manmohan (fake name), we know the difference between a QUALIS and a QUALIS WITH A PAJERO LABEL. Fool!

*Slap*

Today’s candidate – Raj (real name), who speak so slowly that you forget what the conversation was all about. And after 15mins he says “Ok???”

No Dude!!!

*Slap*

Today’s candidate – Everyone who crosses the road while talking over the phone. Apart from increasing the probability to kill themselves and kill the person riding, they increase the probability of damaging my bike. ARGH!!

*Slap*

Today’s candidate – That friend of yours who says “Congo” when they’re supposed to say “Congrats!”. It sounds soo wrong when someone you says “Congo” to a new parent. Especially when they look at the child. Idiots!

*Slap*

Today's candidates - Girls who call other girls "dude". That is soo spectacularly lame. Would you accept it if your guy says "what's up babe?" to another guy? EXACTLY!!

*Slap*

Today’s candidate – 24 yr old samosa look alike enters the gym for the first time and asks the gym instructor “How long will it take for me to become like Salman Khan?”

*Slap*